So I decided today that I’m going to write for 5 minutes every day 🙃 **Eep, may I keep to this commitment…**
One of my dreams as a little girl was to be a journalist. I LOVED writing — writing poems, writing essays…and of course when I was growing up I watched Gilmore Girls and saw Rory be a journalist at Yale and thought YUP that’s what I want to do in life 😅
I have a zillion thoughts a day and usually don’t take the time to tease any of them out..so they become fleeting little moments between me and my mind and disappear. Some of them reappear the next day but some don’t.
So here I am 2 minutes into my 5 minutes (yup, I’m a fast typer) and wanted to talk about dreams in my remaining 3 minutes.
Did you have a dream or dreams growing up? I always get clammy and stressed when someone asks what I wanted to do growing up cause I had a million things I wanted to do — it wasn’t 1 thing..always a bowlful of ideas that kinda never materialized.
SHALL WE TAKE A PEEK AT EUNICE’S DREAMS AS A LITTLE GIRL?:
— Archaeologist — ok no joke I”m not sure why, but I thought the idea of traveling the world and excavating something from the past seemed super exciting. Like “WOAH, that was here from like hundreds and hundreds of years ago? Cool.”
— Poet/Writer — So when I was in elementary I had a special journal that I would hide under my bed..and no I didn’t write journal entries about boys I liked, but I wrote POEMS!!! I was so embarrassed that I would try and hide it from people..and guess what..my sister found them and I was DEAD. Embarrassed to death. Like, I never wanted to write a poem ever again….so dramatic.
Ok my 5-minute timer went up, but I want to keep writing so here I continue to go.
— Journalist — I’m being totally serious when I say that I wanted to be a journalist cause of Gilmore Girls — Rory was so fab to me. So when I was in college, I ended up joining the school newspaper as a radio reporter (cause I didn’t get in as a normal journalist/writer) and kinda loved it. I eventually applied and got an NPR internship in DC butttttt never went.
………..hmmm I’m not sure what to write anymore cause now I’m reminiscent and feeling emotional about the what-ifs in life.
Like..what if…
— I didn’t quit playing the cello…
— I took that NPR internship…
— I stuck to like 1 thing during college, not change my major or take a million internships..
BUT you know what…what if’s aren’t that helpful..it’s living in a glamorized past that DOESN’T exist because I didn’t choose to go down those paths. Instead…
I’m here! Like, this is where I’m at.
I’m happily and so fortunately living in a home my husband and I own (well I mean the bank..but you know “own”), I have the privilege to choose what I want to do with my day and yah….
I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life at 31…but in a different way. I don’t know if I’m looking for a career, but I’m looking for something, (maybe things?) I can do day in and day out — maybe it’s more along the lines of something I’ll keep doing 10 years, 20 year, 30 years out.
I’ll end my rambling with this: I read this book War of Art and it wrecked me. It wrecked me because I couldn’t think of my “art” and the whole book is about persevering and consistently doing your art…at any cost..until the day you die. And I was SO STRESSED.
Anyways, I really don’t know where I’m going with this so let me end with this. To anyone who lands here not knowing what you want to do, where you’re going..I’m here with yah 🙂 Today, I’m taking Seth Godin’s advice cause I really respect that man (haha) and instead of putting my writings in a google doc that I NEVER re-open it’s here on my dusty old blog.
And there you go, 10 minutes of Eunice’s unfiltered, unedited writing!
xoxo.
Eunice